Embracing Your Personality

“You’ll be too much for some people, those aren’t your people.”

Do you ever find yourself drowning in envy over the quiet mysterious girl who is a tad more introvert than you? The one that you look at and just think, “Damn, she totally has it together.” Welcome to the world of large personalities, aka yours truly. I have always danced to the beat of my own drum without even a pause, but I have always been made to feel bad about it somehow. That somehow because I am so strong in my personality traits that, that is where I am flawed, THAT is an imperfection.

I am going to assume that I am not the only one out there that finds themselves criticizing their personality – loud, quiet, shy, quirky, whatever it may be. Some days every word, night out or interaction with the general population is something you find yourself dwelling on. There are days I look in the mirror and literally say to myself “Shelby, what in the hell?” To this day I have never met a stranger, don’t believe in personal space, and have been blessed with the curse of never shutting up. At 5 years old these statements meant absolutely nothing to me. Over time I started to associate them with negativity, like I was “too much”, a weirdo, the type that’s good in small doses, ya know? I got a lot of judgment through school for being “different”. When it came time to head off to the big leagues (aka college) I chose to go where no one else I knew was going so I could start new. New, as in become totally normal and DEFINITELY not weird. Very quickly I began to realize that my personality wasn’t something I could control and that everyone was weird; maybe not in the same way that I was weird, but their own type. I thought I was in some alternate universe or on an episode of Punked. Like wait…. You’re telling me I’m not the only one? College is where I began to get a grasp on who I really was, but still couldn’t fully allow myself to just be without second guessing and looking for ways to tame the confidence that came natural to me.

Shortly after I graduated college the game changed. I had been watching/listening to Jaime Primak Sullivan’s morning vlog “cawfeetawk” for months. One day it was like we were in the same room and she was speaking directly to me. Her message resonated with me like nothing ever had before. “That thing that makes us “imperfect” is typically what sets us apart from everyone else.” ß That statement changed my mindset forever. Jaime goes on to say that e v e r y o n e has a freak-flag, some are just not brave enough to let it fly.
When you allow the opinions of others into your space and allow their ideas of who you should be conform you, the further away you get from your authentic self, which ultimately gives people permission to steal your happiness.
It is not who you are that holds you back from your greatest self, it’s who you think you are not that does. Altering the way you think about yourself, will give you unlimited opportunity to celebrate you. The people in your life that love and cherish you, cherish the traits you judge yourself for. Anyone, and I mean ANYONE that makes you feel bad about the person you were born to be, the person you that you truly are with the mask off, get rid of them; those people are not your people. Be you, and all the people who are truly your people will come and they will stay.

Loud or quiet, mysterious or an open book, OWN IT! Stop apologizing for your personality; embrace it. And remember “Self confidence is not “They will like me”, it’s “I’ll be fine if they don’t”.

MY people

MY person

MY people

MY people

MY people

MY people

MY everything

MY people